"Wow you did all this in the two hours I was away? It looks amazing. Thanks Marcia" I go to the couch and give her a hug before plonking down next to her.
"Yes well, to her much crazy eyes are given much is expected. I just got in the zone. Our rooms are done too I figure the house is at least liveable until we get the stuff that we shipped over" she surveys the room approvingly.
"It's a bit more than liveable. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help" I mean it.
"Don't worry cute boy trumps family obligations"
"I didn't say he was cute! He's nice and my age. That's it. What can I do to make it up to you"
"You could go pick up dinner from the Chinese place- they do not deliver except in a really super specific set of circumstances that he insisted on enthralling me with when I called them"
"That is so strange- Sure I'll do the pick up. What would you like? The usual?"
"The usual" she affirms nodding her head for emphasis.
"Cool" I say grabbing the keys of the counter on my way out "I'll be back in a bit"
I pull out of the driveway wondering idly how long we'll keep the rental before we buy a car. When we do buy a car will it just be the one? That would be the more responsible choice sustainability wise but the thought of being beholden to my sister in a town without a mass transit system doesn't appeal to me either. I flick through the radio stations trying to find something to listen to when I come across the song that my parents danced to at their wedding. The car swerves as I flail in a panic to turn the radio off. Turning on the radio- whose play list I don't have control over was a rookie mistake. Absolute control over all emotive elements- what I listen to, what I watch and what I read is crucial to keeping myself together. My parents are always on my mind but I try to push them to the back of it. I was just caught off guard. I pull to the side of the road and take a series of deep breathes until my hands stop shaking, the tears in my eyes retreat from the brink and the anvil in my chest is back to being the weight of a large rock. One more deep breathe and I restart the car and pull back on to the road. I get to the restaurant and place our order with the very stoned looking guy at the register before sitting down at one of the tables in the empty restaurant. The door opens and two boys walk in- one dark haired and brooding and the other blonde and athletic with a goofy grin.
"You know what your problem is?" the blonde one asks "you fixate. You have fixated on Amy and I may not be allowed to say this since she is my sister but she is not even that amazing. She is very Mischa Barton later years of the O.C right now."
"Okay, one I would keep it quiet that I watch the O.C, two, I am not fixated on Amy. I am all about Madison right now.I'm not and three who taught you the word fixate?"
I have to smile at his extremely unconvincing protestations. The blonde boy catches this and instantly gestures towards me.
"Eli even complete strangers don't believe you".
Eli blushes and I cannot resist having some fun with him.
"Extremely unconvincing. Whoever this Amy girl is she has got you tied in some fairly impressive knots." Shaking my head ruefully.
"The stranger has an accent!" the blonde one exclaims as he approaches me "Why cheerio madam my name is Brett what brings you to this side of the pond?" he says in an accent that slips and slides between Irish, German and Cockney.
I look at the dark haired one- Eli with a questioning cocked eyebrow and he just smiles and shakes his head. Obviously Brett gets carried away sometimes.
"Right..", I reply "I'm Aisha. Nice to meet you" I shake his hand.
"Are you from here? I haven't seen you around?"
"Actually I just moved here. I'm going to be starting at the local high school next week"
"Awesome, I go there, we both do. Mr pathetic over there and me" He says flashing me a smile that makes me realize that this conversation is not so innocent.
My order is called so I just smile archly at him and reply "I'll see you both there then. It'll be nice to know some people. Nice to meet you."
"You said that already" Eli mutters darkly.
I pick up my order and when I get to the door I turn and say
"Eli. This Amy/ Madison girl, hang in there. One day she'll get out of her funk and see you, really see you. Later!" I call casually over my shoulder as I leave.
The temporary reprieve of being absorbed in someone else's drama is amazing. Hopefully once I make some friends I can have more moments of vicarious teenage angst. The thing about worrying about high school stuff is that there is always something that can be done- study harder, talk to him, kiss her, move on.... It's never that serious. The pain is never that permanent.
I get home and realise I am not hungry. I keep Marcia company as we discuss how we sill spend our day tomorrow. Marcia wants to tidy up the garden and start her job search.
"What job are you going to look for anyway? You haven't passed the bar here but you still have a law degree and a Masters from Oxford. Is anything going to be stimulating enough?"
"I don't need to be stimulated I just need to be busy" she replies with her mouth full of noodles. "As long as it isn't breaking rocks with bigger rocks I'll be okay. I can apply for a PhD if I get really bored. The University of Colorado campus isn't that far away."
"Okay. Well you might as well hit the pavement and start looking tomorrow. We could also register with a doctor. It's almost time for my six month check up and we'll need physicals before we can buy insurance. Also Dudders left a voice mail on my phone so I really think that you should talk to him and let him know you are al right."
Marcia just rolls her eyes and grunts.
"Or just be passive aggressive from across the Atlantic ocean, that works too I guess. I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight Marcia."
"Goodnight. Hey about the check up- you do feel okay right? not at all..." she drifts off
"Cancer-y?" I joke "Don't stress I feel fine. The check ups are just par for the course for someone in remission."
"Good because an orphan with cancer? You would be too pathetic to hang around me" She says turning to a magazine on the kitchen counter.
My first night in my new room I try to say my prayers like my parent's had taught me to do. Like I always had done while they were alive.
"Dear God" I begin. There is nothing else to say. I toss and turn trying to shake the heaviness for what seems like hours before I fall asleep.
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