Part 22

I am startled out of a daydream by a deep voice. I quickly pull out my headphones and turn to face the speaker.

"Excuse me?"

"Having cancer does not give you the right to steal my book?" He repeats gesturing to the book in my lap.

"Oh. I'm sorry, I thought it was a communal book.." I start to hand it back.

"No it's cool. Do you like it so far?" Since he is trying to engage in conversation I focus on the guy talking to me. His green eyes dance mischievously and his tone is teasing.

"To be honest I forgot my book at home and I just kind of wanted Trish to leave me alone for a bit"

"Am I bothering you?" He asks in a straightforward tone that I admire.

"No" I decide after considering it for a moment "I'm Aisha" I introduce myself.

"I'm Zach". He moves forward slightly to shake my hand. It is only then that I notice the wheelchair.

"I've actually heard a lot about you from the nurses. They think we should be friends." He smiles.

"Really? Let me guess, because we are the two youngest people here?"

"I think they are hoping you will rub off on me. You are such a model patient. Always on time, unfailingly polite and you bribe them"

"You have heard a lot" I observe.

"I'm here every week and we rarely get teenagers," He notes leaning back in his chair.

"Lucky me" I laugh hollowly.

"Are you nearly done?" He asks.

I check my watch before answering "Another hour or so".

"That IV pole is portable. Do you want to see something cool?"

"It isn't your balls is it?"

"I could whip those out right here. Also, I'm very fond of them but I wouldn't describe them, you know, objectively as cool" He laughs already pulling away from the recliner I am sitting in.

I ask myself 'why not?' fully prepared to come up with a list. Nothing comes to mind. I get up and follow Zach.

We make our way in silence. He knows how to avoid the nurses and staff. He leads me down a corridor that has rooms.

"I didn't know there was in-patient?" I ask.

"There isn't. It's a convalescent home/ hospice/ long term care centre" He explains.

"Where are we going?"

"My room"

He abruptly turns a corner and we are there. I peek my head in cautiously. His room is too well designed to be a serial murderers den. The minimalist furniture and bright manga style prints covering the wall would not have been out of place in any city teenager's bedroom. The only give away is the hospital bed (covered in a bright red duvet). I move to the sliding doors that open out on to a beautiful garden.

"Oh wow. This is so pretty." I exclaim.

"I'll be sure to tell John. He's the gardener. This is what I wanted to show you" He beckons me from his spot near the computer "You can sit over there" He gestures to a second wheelchair. I sit down and turn to him expectantly.

He turns on his computer selects a file and presses play. The room is filled with the mournful opening strains of a Death Cab for Cutie song. The animation begins with a mouse running through a maze. He struggles to find his way through it but when he gets to the other side he seems even more lost. He turns around and re-enters the maze.

"Did you do that?" I ask awed.

"Yeah. What did you think?"

"You are so talented. Not very optimistic though"

He blushes

"Good thing I am not in a very shiny happy space either" I laugh.

"Then I'll take it as a compliment"

"Do you have any others?"

We are interrupted by the sound of my name being shouted down the corridor.

"I'd better go," I sigh as I reach for his pad and write down my email address.

"What's this for?" He asks when I hand him the pad.

"So you can email me the rest of your videos or find me on facebook or something," I explain.

He smiles "How about we just hang out the next time you're here? As you can tell, I spend a lot of time here" He gestures to his room.

I wave at him and he waves back.

Trish is waiting for me at the end of the corridor.

"I see you met Zach" She smiles "He's been asking about you since you started"

"He seems cool"

"He is a such a sweet boy"

She unplugs me and checks my mouth for sores before escorting me to the taxi that is waiting for me. Marcia and Dudders had to work and it wasn't enough notice to ask one of our neighbours.

When I get home I am surprised to find the door open. I am even more surprised to find Jase's Mum in the kitchen doing the dishes.

"Hi Tina" I greet her as I walk in "What are you doing here?"

"Oh Hi sweetie!" She rinses her hands and turns to give me a big hug "Let's get you set up on the couch"

Before I can get another word out she has ushered me over to the couch and set me up with my medicine, a glass of water and a blanket.

"I met Marcia on her way to work. So silly of you guys not to ask one of us to come get you. Anyway, I told her I would come check up on you" She explains when she sees my puzzled expression.

"Thanks" I say leaning back on the cushions and closing my eyes "I'm sorry I won't be great company"

She smiles and heads back to the kitchen. I wake up to the smell of chicken grilling. At any other time this smell would be delicious and enticing. Instead it sends me hobbling unsteadily to the bathroom.

"Sweetie are you okay?" Tina yells through the door which, thankfully, I had the presence of mind to lock.

"I'm fine. I'm just going to hang out in here for a bit and make sure it's all gone" I assure her.

"Marcia called while you were napping. She wanted to go for dinner with Tom but she said to call her if you got sick.." Tina trails off.

"No. Don't call her. Her and Tom need a night out without me ruining everything. I'll be fine"
"Okay" She sounds dubious "Jase wanted to know if he could come over for a bit and say hi"

"Of course he can. In like half an hour though.."

She agrees. In ten minutes I head to my room where it doesn't smell of food. I put on my seasickness bands and pop in the downton abbey DVD my Dudders brought over with him.

Tina pops her head in and asks if I want anything. When she brings me back my ginger ale she gets engrossed in the show and pulls up a chair. We are both speculating about the first episode before moving on to the second one when the doorbell rings.

When Tina comes back she has Jase with her. He doesn't seem too keen on being supervised by his Mother so she leaves us alone. I direct him to the bed and he leans over and kisses me before kicking off his shoes and joining me.

"You are getting way too skinny" He observes when he puts his arms around me.

"I know. I am going to pig out when chemo is over and gain it all back"

"I can't wait"

"Are you sure? I am going to go hard. It's going to be disgusting"

"I promise I won't look"

"So how was school today?" I ask.

"Pretty lame. There was this thing that they served for dinner that tasted like beef fish but they made the announcement about the wrestling meet so I was a bit of a hero for a while there"

"Any girls I need to deal with when I get back?"

He laughs.

"How was chemo?"

"Pretty lame, but I met a guy Zach who lives there. He's pretty cool and he is our age so at least I have company"
"Do I need to deal with him?" He asks.
"My boyfriend's a hot shot wrestler now and he is going to let me wear his letterman jacket into school tomorrow so everyone knows we are going steady. And on Saturday I'm going to watch him writhe around on the floor panting and sweating with some other dude. I'm a lucky girl. And just as soon as we can get the dowry money together he is going to marry me Pa I know he is" I smile teasing him gently.
He groans, "I thought we agreed about the American accent?" He jokes.
"I think you should wear my jacket tomorrow" He says seriously.
"Why? It'll be huge on me" I note.
"Because I love you and it's what people our age do right? When they are in love? I want everyone to know that you are my girl" He says.
He has been doing this lately. Even though I am doing okay all things considering he still gets serious on me at the slightest provocation.
"Everyone knows I'm your girlfriend. I think the fact that we are always together and the borderline inappropriate touching tipped them off. I'd love to wear your jacket, it smells like you. I love the way you smell" My voice gets deep and I snuggle into him.
He smiles.
"I love your smile" As I pull in for a kiss "I love your eyes" I say as I break the kiss long enough to take off his sunglasses "I love the way your skin looks against mine" I kiss him again. This time he breaks the kiss.
He turns away and clears his throat but not before I catch the hurt expression on his face. I realize what I just said.
"Jase. Babe, I am so sorry" I say. I cannot believe I could have been that insensitive.
"No. Don't be. I'm being really stupid. It's just.." He pauses looking like he might change his mind before sighing and continuing "the guys at practice were talking about you the other day, you know, how you look. Apparently you are really hot stuff at our school" He smiles before continuing.
"I didn't even know who it was until they got to the accent. I had no idea if it was you. I had a dream I could see and I couldn't recognize anyone. I was lost in this sea of faces of people I should have known. It was weird.... " He trails off.
"When I was a kid I was really afraid that I was ugly. That everyone knew how ugly I was except for me. I thought I'd only dreamed what I remembered I looked like and I was hideous."
"I don't suppose that face touching stuff from TV works?" I ask.
"No" He laughs.
"It's just one thing. It's the surface. You know parts of me that those guys will never get close to" I can't resist I press my chest against his and then graze my breasts lightly across his chest, smiling at his wide eyed reaction.
"You are not ugly. Trust me. I'm shallow." I say pulling him in for a kiss. He deepens it this time. Pulling me in roughly. I let out a whimper of pleasure. He has been so gentle with me since I got sick. He pushes me back on the bed and I bite back a groan when my catheter tugs uncomfortably. His hand snakes down my pants and I am surprised, but not unpleasantly. He takes me to a place where I don't think about anything at all, just feel. It is all sensation. It is  jarring but almost a relief when it is over and I return to myself. I reach over and push him back on to the cushions wanting to wipe that self satisfied smirk off his face. When my mouth connects with him I look up and watch his eyes widen with surprise. His facial expressions are almost comical and when he grabs the sheets and groans I almost laugh.

When we are finished we just lie there together for a bit. None of us were really expecting that to happen but I feel glad that it did. I feel warm and giddy and incredibly powerful. I didn't know I could do that to him. Almost immediately I want to do it again so I can memorize every little shift in his expression and the bloom as his face flushes. His Mum calls and reminds him that he has school the next day and his head pops up. He jumps of the bed and does up his fly before trying to smooth down his hair.
"Why bother? Your expression is like a dead give-away. She is going to be able to tell right away" I tease.
"Then you should think of a story for why you corrupted her little angel."
I throw a pillow at him.
It just sets us off again.
He leaves half an hour later.

The next day at school Ms. Dawes who is the English teacher and supervises the school paper asks me to stay after and see her at the beginning of the lesson. I run a quick mental inventory of all my actions to make sure that I haven't done anything wrong; even though I am pretty sure I haven't. Mrs. Dawes has the look of someone who is incredibly together. She is something of a legend in school so I know that she lives with her boyfriend who is a photography teacher and ski instructor and I know that she is writing a book but there is also the stuff you can tell just by looking at her. She is the kind of person who has never ever worn chipped nail polish. Her vintage shirt is perfectly ironed and her bangs fall just so. I bet she has a lifestyle blog. I think she is amazing but I don't have her for English so we've never really talked.
"Aisha- thanks for staying. I wanted to say that I think your writing for the paper has been really good. I know it is a crazy time for you but I had a challenge I thought you would enjoy" She starts without preamble. She heads to her desk and pulls out a flyer and hands it to me.
"The University is sponsoring a short story competition for local high schools. I thought you might like to enter?"
"Can I think about it?" I ask
"Sure but both Mr. Eckles and I agree that you need an opportunity to really push your writing. Think about it and get back to me"

As I head out to meet Jase I can't help but feel incredibly flattered by my teachers confidence in me. I don't know if I am going to do it but I feel really lucky that they asked. I am surprised to see Jase being lead by a girl that I don't know. She is wearing a cheerleaders uniform and her head is tilted as she listens to what he says and laughs dramatically. I know that laugh. I paste on a smile and wave at them.
"Are you Jase's ride?" She asks me seriously as if she is handing over a young child to a taxi driver. Instead of trying to figure out who this is more insulting to I move in and kiss Jase on the cheek. His arms wrap around me instinctively and his head sinks into my shoulder.
"Coach was brutal today!" He groans theatrically.
I almost feel bad as I watch her try to keep her facial expression neutral.
"Hi. I'm Aisha" I smile as Jase breaks our hug only to find my hand and hold it.
"Hi. I'm Taylor" She smiles. She also flicks back her impressive mane of brown hair. Damn her, I think, feeling very bald and then very petty and small.
"Where are my manners? Taylor this is Aisha, my girlfriend. Aisha this is Taylor- she is my spirit aide" He smirks slightly as he says it.
"Spirit aide?" I ask.
"The cheerleaders are assigned to members of the varsity squad- to cheer them on" Taylor explains.
"You made varsity!?" I exclaim excitedly.
"I did" Jase laughs.
I pull him in for a kiss. I cannot help but make it extra passionate and gross. To send a message to Taylor. In my defence, I am not proud of my behaviour. I'm not sure when she walks away but when I come up for air she is gone.
"Jeez. Can I get my tonsils back?" He jokes.
"How are we celebrating?" I ask.
"Seriously. What was that about? Are you jealous of my spirit aide?"
"A little. She made me feel follicular-ly challenged" I admit.
Jase laughs.
"It's not funny" I pout but after a while I relent and laugh with him.
Although I know I am being paranoid I send Taylor a facebook friend request that night. Enemies closer and all that.