We sat on the couch and lost ourselves
but I watched your hand and tracked its movement south
As a girl who was good this was required of me
willing myself to want to stop it
and
willing myself to get lost, properly
fully,
hopelessly,
To be beyond reason, shame and self.
To jump,
to surrender.
I was further away from my childhood bedroom and it's lavender walls than I ever had been-
I could swear, looking back on it now,
The sky seemed bigger.
