Part 5

"I am so sorry I'm late!" I exclaim as I hurry into the house cringing a little as the door slams behind me. "I met this new family that is moving in two doors down from us and they are really nice- well the Mum Tina and the Son Jason are the only two I've met". I stop dead in my tracks to observe my sister calmly sipping a cup of tea and flicking through a magazine on our new sofa. The living room is set up with the couch, the new rug, the restored leather ottoman and the shelving.

"Wow you did all this in the two hours I was away? It looks amazing. Thanks Marcia" I go to the couch and give her a hug before plonking down next to her.

"Yes well, to her much crazy eyes are given much is expected. I just got in the zone. Our rooms are done too I figure the house is at least liveable until we get the stuff that we shipped over" she surveys the room approvingly.

"It's a bit more than liveable. I'm sorry I wasn't here to help" I mean it.

"Don't worry cute boy trumps family obligations"

"I didn't say he was cute! He's nice and my age. That's it. What can I do to make it up to you"

"You could go pick up dinner from the Chinese place- they do not deliver except in a really super specific set of circumstances that he insisted on enthralling me with when I called them"

"That is so strange- Sure I'll do the pick up. What would you like? The usual?"

"The usual" she affirms nodding her head for emphasis.

"Cool" I say grabbing the keys of the counter on my way out "I'll be back in a bit"

I pull out of the driveway wondering idly how long we'll keep the rental before we buy a car. When we do buy a car will it just be the one? That would be the more responsible choice sustainability wise but the thought of being beholden to my sister in a town without a mass transit system doesn't appeal to me either. I flick through the radio stations trying to find something to listen to when I come across the song that my parents danced to at their wedding. The car swerves as I flail in a panic to turn the radio off. Turning on the radio- whose play list I don't have control over was a rookie mistake. Absolute control over all emotive elements- what I listen to, what I watch and what I read is crucial to keeping myself together. My parents are always on my mind but I try to push them to the back of it. I was just caught off guard. I pull to the side of the road and take a series of deep breathes until my hands stop shaking, the tears in my eyes retreat from the brink and the anvil in my chest is back to being the weight of a large rock. One more deep breathe and I restart the car and pull back on to the road. I get to the restaurant and place our order with the very stoned looking guy at the register before sitting down at one of the tables in the empty restaurant. The door opens and two boys walk in- one dark haired and brooding and the other blonde and athletic with a goofy grin.

"You know what your problem is?" the blonde one asks "you fixate. You have fixated on Amy and I may not be allowed to say this since she is my sister but she is not even that amazing. She is very Mischa Barton later years of the O.C right now."

"Okay, one I would keep it quiet that I watch the O.C, two, I am not fixated on Amy. I am all about Madison right now.I'm not and three who taught you the word fixate?"

I have to smile at his extremely unconvincing protestations. The blonde boy catches this and instantly gestures towards me.

"Eli even complete strangers don't believe you".

Eli blushes and I cannot resist having some fun with him.

"Extremely unconvincing. Whoever this Amy girl is she has got you tied in some fairly impressive knots." Shaking my head ruefully.

"The stranger has an accent!" the blonde one exclaims as he approaches me "Why cheerio madam my name is Brett what brings you to this side of the pond?" he says in an accent that slips and slides between Irish, German and Cockney.

I look at the dark haired one- Eli with a questioning cocked eyebrow and he just smiles and shakes his head. Obviously Brett gets carried away sometimes.

"Right..", I reply "I'm Aisha. Nice to meet you" I shake his hand.

"Are you from here? I haven't seen you around?"

"Actually I just moved here. I'm going to be starting at the local high school next week"

"Awesome, I go there, we both do. Mr pathetic over there and me" He says flashing me a smile that makes me realize that this conversation is not so innocent.

My order is called so I just smile archly at him and reply "I'll see you both there then. It'll be nice to know some people. Nice to meet you."

"You said that already" Eli mutters darkly.

I pick up my order and when I get to the door I turn and say

"Eli. This Amy/ Madison girl, hang in there. One day she'll get out of her funk and see you, really see you. Later!" I call casually over my shoulder as I leave.

The temporary reprieve of being absorbed in someone else's drama is amazing. Hopefully once I make some friends I can have more moments of vicarious teenage angst. The thing about worrying about high school stuff is that there is always something that can be done- study harder, talk to him, kiss her, move on.... It's never that serious. The pain is never that permanent.

I get home and realise I am not hungry. I keep Marcia company as we discuss how we sill spend our day tomorrow. Marcia wants to tidy up the garden and start her job search.

"What job are you going to look for anyway? You haven't passed the bar here but you still have a law degree and a Masters from Oxford. Is anything going to be stimulating enough?"

"I don't need to be stimulated I just need to be busy" she replies with her mouth full of noodles. "As long as it isn't breaking rocks with bigger rocks I'll be okay. I can apply for a PhD if I get really bored. The University of Colorado campus isn't that far away."

"Okay. Well you might as well hit the pavement and start looking tomorrow. We could also register with a doctor. It's almost time for my six month check up and we'll need physicals before we can buy insurance. Also Dudders left a voice mail on my phone so I really think that you should talk to him and let him know you are al right."

Marcia just rolls her eyes and grunts.

"Or just be passive aggressive from across the Atlantic ocean, that works too I guess. I'm going to go to bed. Goodnight Marcia."

"Goodnight. Hey about the check up- you do feel okay right? not at all..." she drifts off

"Cancer-y?" I joke "Don't stress I feel fine. The check ups are just par for the course for someone in remission."

"Good because an orphan with cancer? You would be too pathetic to hang around me" She says turning to a magazine on the kitchen counter.

My first night in my new room I try to say my prayers like my parent's had taught me to do. Like I always had done while they were alive.

"Dear God" I begin. There is nothing else to say. I toss and turn trying to shake the heaviness for what seems like hours before I fall asleep.

Part 4

"He should be in the house. Can I trust you to find him?" She asks. I follow her gaze to a table being manhandled out of the truck and I understand that she has her hands full.

"Sure". As I step into the house I immediately worry about the task I have taken on. No teenage boys take kindly to babysitting not even blind ones perhaps especially not blind ones. I notice a teenager listlessly running his hands along the kitchen island he is standing next too.

"Mum could you please give me something to do?" he asks as I enter the kitchen.

"Hey. I'm Aisha I live two doors down we just moved in too and I was taking a walk and thought I would check out the newest new neighbours" I approach him slowly as I say this. He registers the information calmly.

"Hi I'm Jase" he sticks his hand out for me to shake. It's not exactly where I am standing but impressively close. I shake it.

"Lovely to meet you. How old are you Jase?"

"Seventeen"

"I'm sixteen- glad I won't be the only new kid in town. Safety in numbers right?"

"I wouldn't have guessed sixteen" he smiles crookedly "the accent makes you seem older"

"I sound old!" I exclaim feigning offence.

"No. I meant mature. You sound mature" He laughs good naturedly.

"Definitely the accent then. I'm not" I deadpan.

"So how did you end up in this dump town?" He asks.

"It's a long story. How about you?"

"A really short story. Two words; new and job"

At this moment Tina enters the kitchen "I see you guys met. Why don't you go check out the town?"

"Don't you need my help?" He asks there is an edge to his question but I dismiss it since it isn't directed at me.

"No", Tina replies sweetly "We have it all under control. Go away."

"I could fill you in on my long story. You could also maybe add a few words to yours? I'm very comfortable with leaving my sister to do all the work. She has full on crazy eyes right now."

He leans into me and stage whispers "Like my mum's are now?"

"Uncannily similar" I reply in a stage whisper.

"Cool- I know when I'm not wanted" he says at normal volume. He reaches out for his Mum finds her arm and she kisses him on the cheek. He then turns to face me

"Let's go"

"Okay" I allow him to find my arm and he grips it above the elbow. He pulls his cane out of the back of his jeans but doesn't unfold it until we are outside the front door.

"Steps. Three of them down." I say warning him of the porch steps. He finds them and steps down them easily. We set off in the direction of main street.

"So lets build on the two word story. Whose job?" I ask

"My Mum's. My Dad is a contractor so he can work anywhere but my Mum is going to be editing the town paper. She grew up here."

"You don't sound too enthused?"

"I'm fine. I'm just not great with change. I had friends in Minneapolis, I liked my school and my life and it just sucks that I don't get a say"

"What was your school like?"

"It was a small school for kids with problems mainstreaming "special kids"" He smiles wryly "It was pretty great"

"I went to a smaller school too. Lets step this way and avoid the tree. It was a boarding school but I was home nearly every weekend. I loved it too" I say.

"So why are you here? I mean London to Everwood is not a popular air route and there is a reason for that"

"Okay brace yourself because I am going to test my story out on you. You are the first person to hear it and your reaction will determine whether or not I tell it again"

"Okaaay" He says squaring up his shoulders "Hit me".

"Well my parents were in a car accident. My mother died on the spot and my Father survived and was stabilized only to die five days later when he figured out that my Mother was dead. My sister and I had to get away so she threw a dart at a map to pick continent, and then I threw to pick country, and then she threw to pick region and then we picked Everwood because we like the name. And that is why we moved here I conclude."

He stopped walking when I began my story and I look at him now taking in his expression.

"That bad huh? I will definitely come up with something else by Monday" I joke weakly. When he doesn't reply I add "Sorry, I shouldn't joke. It's not funny. I shouldn't have said anything"

"I'm glad you did- tell me, that is. I would just straight up lie at school though."

"Duly noted" I smile grateful he has let me off the hook.

"When did all this happen?" he asks his voice serious again.

"Five weeks ago" Against my will tears fill my eyes. I shake my head to stop them. He squeezes my arm slightly as if to steady me. I wonder how he knew I needed steadying.

"We're here- Nina's. The local cafe. Step up."

Once we are inside we find a table near the window and sit down. Nina's isn't the old timey Diner I was hoping for instead it has the sleek look that most Coffee shops around the world have.

"Thanks for the arm- I'm guessing I'm not the first blind person you've known"

"What makes you think I'm not just a natural?" He simply cocks his eyebrow in response.

"Fine" I relent "A friend of mine Holly has a blind little sister Suri we went to disability awareness class together."

"Uh.. cool?" he responds and I just laugh at his uncertainty "Works out well for me anyway. I don't have to train you"

"Your verb choice makes me sound like a monkey!" I laugh.

A pretty blonde waitress who looks about our age interrupts us "Hi. I'm Amy welcome to Nina's here are the menu's and I will be back in a bit to take your drink orders".

"So what about you?"

"What about me?" He responds chuckling.

"Any horrible stories you want to test drive on me before you start school?- you are going to the local one aren't you?"

"I am and are you asking me how I went blind?" He asks in a stage whisper.

I swat the hand he has cupped on the side of his mouth playfully.

"No- any awkward truth will do. But I have two dead parents so make it good!"

"No I don't have anything that good" He says the playfulness gone from his voice

Amy returns and Jase orders black coffee and I order a latte. I notice he didn't volunteer the information but now I know that he went blind and wasn't born blind. I don't push the topic. He'll tell me when he is ready. I change the subject to something more neutral and we chat easily for a bit. Jase tells me about his best friend from back home and I tell him about mine. We talk about the books that we are reading. I am getting really excited to have met someone that I have so much in common with. When I look up hours have passed.

"Oh crap- I'd better go. I actually promised my sister I would help set up some stuff we got today. Our stuff from home isn't here yet."

I pay the bill and we exit Nina's and I notice that he is humming a matchbox twenty song -Unwell.

"I love that song. That whole album really. Any matchbox twenty song" I comment awkwardly.

"Me too" he replies simply and we walk back to our street humming matchbox twenty songs the whole way trying to catch up the other person by using bonus tracks and songs not played on the radio. When he couldn't pick up Last Beautiful Girl I declare myself the winner.

"No way!" he protests

"You can still be their second biggest fan in Everwood. Does that take the sting off of your failure?" I mock unable to resist rubbing my victory in his face.

"The only thing that stings is my ears from your terrible humming. You managed to mangle that song into something barely recognizable as music" he replies. I cannot keep the delight off of my face- he gives as good as he gets.

"I wasn't aware this was a singing competition. I am the biggest fan. Admit it." I respond blithely.

"Okay- how many times have you seen them live?" he asks.

"Ermm none."

"Well then you cannot be their biggest fan. Hate to break it to you but it falls under my jurisdiction as their biggest fan" he says.

"So I lose? Just like that?"

"Just like that" he pronounces with an absolute finality that makes me laugh.

"Oh we're here" I say noting his Mum coming to meet us "Hi Tina!"I greet her "I should go" I say to Jason "We can settle this tomorrow though- will you be around?"

"I will be school doesn't start until Monday"

"Cool maybe you could come over and hang out at mine for a bit. I could come pick you up"

"Don't worry about it, my brother will bring me it's two houses down right?"

He cocks his head and his gaze roams downwards. I realize he probably has to remind himself to maintain "eye contact".

"Right do you um want my number so you can call and let me know when your coming over?" I fumble to the end of the sentence all of a sudden unsure about how to exchange phone numbers with a boy who cannot see.

"What is it?" he asks pulling out his phone.

I recite my number and he types it in and saves it with a voice tag "2nd biggest fan". I scoff in his direction shaking my head at the tag he chose and smile at his Mother before heading home.

part 3

The gloriousness of the following morning was only highlighted by the delightful combo of chintz and porcelain cats that typified the spirit of the bed and breakfast we spent the night in. Equally glorious was my sister fully dressed in her "casual" attire- dark rinse straight leg jeans (do not get her started on skinny jeans which are in her opinion for tween gay boys and skanks), a floaty cream top,a charcoal cardigan accented with pink ribbon, ever present pearl earrings- a gift from our parents when she got into Oxford and patent leather fuchsia pumps.
"I don't know what is more terrifying all the chintz or that you think that outfit is Colorado appropriate. Also buddy lets turn down the intensity of your expression by like eighty percent." I say turning around to get more sleep.
Marcia snatches up the blankets away from me "No can do buddy" she stresses the Americanism with a horrible approximation of an American accent "I just got off the phone with Kevin. We have to go pick up the keys, rent a car, buy some crap to make the house liveable, enrol you in whatever sub par secondary school they have in this town. We have to leave now because I want to get all this done so we can be in our new house and have a nice cup of tea before bed" As she speaks she opens my suitcase and pulls out my clothes, shoves a towel at me and not so gently ushers me to the bathroom.
"It's called a high school" I mutter as she shuts the door.
I shower quickly and get dressed into the outfit Marcia picked for me knowing better than to argue with her when she has that look in her eyes.
"How are we going to get to all these places?" I ask meekly accepting the cup of coffee and bran muffin she hurriedly passes me as we exit the hotel. I am not sure how she got them.
"There" she brushes the hair off her face and nods at a cab parked in front. We enter the cab and I watch as Marcia pulls out her dreaded purple Asprey organizer. Typical first born type A personality my sister has never met a problem she couldn't organize into a manageable size. There are no problems in her world only opportunities for lists. If I sound bitter it is because she also becomes unbearably condascending when that thing is in her hand.
"Okay, I was thinking we should just get try to settle on what we want the house to look like once we get into the space- clean quick decisions. What do you think?" she asks briefly looking up from the list she is making. The cab is already headed to Kevin's house. I smile as i look away from the window.
She rolls her eyes at my expression "What?".
"I was just thinking you sound like Mum- which is why I let you handle her when she was re-decorating"
"Oh God- remember when she re did the kitchen after Daddy took that job without telling her?"
"You mean the time when the granite tops had to be changed seven times- I really was very impressed with her clinical decision making" I joke nodding solemnly.
Marcia chokes out her laugh and when I look over she has tears in her eyes. We have been avoiding speaking about our parents in anything but the most abstract terms since the funeral. I look away since I know that comforting her would only set her off.
"I think we will be much more decisive- we keep whatever granite tops are in the house now. Even if they are absolutely hideous. There. One decision down. Tick it off your list please" I command with an imperious wave of my hand. She rolls her eyes as she does and the moment is diffused.
The taxi first stops at the car rental office. We quickly install ourselves in a hybrid toyota (my penance for being driven around in my parent's range rover). Kevin's office is nearby and he helpfully points out some of the town's landmarks as we head over to the house. It becomes clear that getting lost in Everwood will never be that much of a problem. There is a Main Street with shops, restaurants and offices, a train station, a city hall and a small shopping arcade. 5 minutes away from main street Kevin pulls up the drive way of an adorable colonial house. It is white with green shutters and sits on a little slope with a huge oak tree in the front yard. Nothing could be further away from the town house in Belgravia and country home in Dorset where we grew up.
"Wow- it is really American" I comment and begin to hum the theme song to "Seventh Heaven" as we exit the car and enter the house.
"I'm sorry, I have another appointment I have to rush to. Here are your keys. Please don't hesitate to call if you need anything. Here is a celebratory fruit basket. Welcome home."
"No problem. We should be thanking you- for this amazing house and the fruit. Where would you recommend for shopping for furniture and linen and that sort of thing?" Marcia asks as she follows him to the door.
"There is a giant mall with an Ikea, bed, bath and beyond- cherry creek it's on the outskirts of Denver and should be on your GPS. Good luck with everything!"
The next few hours are a blur. We drop off my transcripts and a utility bill and after a very cursory interview with the headmaster I am enrolled at school and due to start in a week's time. We drive to the mall which is the biggest thing I have EVER shopped in. I have to give credit to Marcia and her list it included where to buy nice sheets and towels but cheap and cheerful cutlery and crockery. The only point of contention had been the couch- our mother had been devoted to a very English sensibility which meant beige and quiet understatement I thought that a departure from this with a bold eggplant corner sofa unit was in order which we could then accent with splashes of colour with bold print armchairs. Marcia laughed at my idea. A ten minute squabble ensued. Eventually we compromised on a cream corner sofa with dozens of insane throw pillows completing flaunting my mother's philosophy of less is more. We got a rug to place in front of the fireplace.
It was nearly three o'clock and we had been moving non stop since we woke up. I was starving "Hey Marcia- can we get something to eat and call it a day? I am exhausted and we have all the essentials and we should be home when all the stuff gets delivered."
"I'm surprised you lasted this long", she smiles understandingly she knows how much I hate shopping "let's head home".
Marcia and I have always had a fluid understanding of home. Although my father's work for the foreign office had kept us based in London for the past five years when we were younger we had moved around more. We had lived in Lisbon, Cairo, Nairobi, Brussels and finally Paris before settling back to my father's home town of London. My parent's owe a lot to my father's work in the diplomatic service they only met because my father was posted to my mother's home town of Nairobi. She had just returned home after graduating from Radcliffe and she thought she was back for good but she fell in love with my Dad and hitched her wagon to his.
Once we get back to the house I check my email and decide to change my location on facebook to Everwood, Colorado and reply to a few messages from friends accusing my sister and I of insanity. The tone of these messages ranges from incredulous to hurt. I close my laptop after composing a few cheery responses. There is no way to explain it to them. They take it personally that we are leaving but we just couldn't stay. Not when everything reminded us of them. Not when the ridiculous amount of tragedy threatened to suck us down and never let us up. They don't get it but leaving was all that we could do at a time when inaction would have been disastrous. The only way to take charge was to change everything.
I snap myself out of it. A few years ago I spent some time in the hospital and it was then I realised that self pity is really self destructive and boring. I go outside for a walk. Two houses down I notice that another family is moving in. Their house is slightly larger and older. The woman directing the traffic flow of boxes and furniture notices my staring.
"Hi neighbour!" she calls out. Her voice is friendly and I am drawn to how motherly she seems.
"Hi", I reply as soon as I am close enough to talk without yelling "How is the unpacking going?"
"You know how it is- we lived in our old house for 15 years so we should be settled here in about..say fifteen years." She laughs.
"I sympathise- actually we moved in yesterday, just two doors down" I gesture to our house.
"Really? Where from?"
"London, how about you?"
"Minnesota. My husband Gary, My two sons and me. Actually they are about your age- How old are you?"
"Sixteen. And I live with my sister Marcia. I'm Aisha" I introduce myself extending my arm.
"Tina. Nice to meet you."
I can tell she is needed to supervise the unpacking so I begin to extricate myself from the conversation. "Lovely to meet you too but I don't want to keep you from unpacking so I'll just go."
I begin heading down the driveway.
"Wait" I stop waiting to hear what she wants "Could you do me a favour?" She asks I can tell she is nervous.
"Of course- What do you need?"
"It's my son. He needs to be occupied while we set up the house. He's well, he's blind and maybe you could go hang out for a bit. No pressure but it would really help me out. He's your age...." she trails off uncertainly.
"Sure- I haven't met anyone my age here yet I would love to hang. Does he want to be set up on a play date by his mum though?" I am extremely intrigued and have nothing else to do.
"Probably not so we could just keep that between us" She winks.
I smile "Where is he?"