Part 1

So here we are new house in a new town in a new country. As close to a completely clean slate as Marcia and I could manage. We arrive in our new home (purchased on-line trusting digital photos and a very nice estate agent, Kevin) and survey the bricks and mortar that will make up our new lives. It was only then that I understood fully what we have just done. I feel the need to state, for the record, that neither my sister nor I are retarded intellectually or emotionally. I think that we are both fully aware of the ridiculous impossibility of our mission. We know that grief cannot be outrun, cannot be defeated my the simple act of putting 5000 km between us and everything that reminds us of our parents. The fact that we are recently orphaned is one of those incredibly resonant truths totally untethered by Geography. We are both fully aware of the stark unavoidability of it all. But since this plan formed a few days after the funeral it has gathered momentum- we moved on from idly discussing the idea of a magical place we dubbed "anywhere else" to more concrete plans about what to do with the house and where we would live and what we would do.

In keeping with the spirit of operation "anywhere else" we decided that the where should be totally random. So a dart and a map we found in my father's study made the decision for us. Marcia got first throw as the oldest, i suspect she intentionally aimed up in an attempt to keep us in the northern hemisphere, and it worked- United States of America. I got the second throw that narrowed in location- Colorado and then Marcia picked a town because dart throwing became impractical. Everwood because she liked the "sturdy romance" of the name. I smiled sarcastically (as the younger sister I was obliged to) but I agreed with her. It sounded like a lovely little town. I've always appreciated American's for their warmth- genuine or otherwise. Goodbye London with the constant gloom and hello...anything else. Next thing I knew we were searching for a house, buying tickets, saying goodbye to friends and boarding a plane. Everyone probably thought that we were crazy but we were driven forward by the plan's momentum and the direction that it gave us- saving us from the helplessness and inaction of grief. We were moving. We both knew that once the frenzy dulled we would probably just be two very silly English girls in Colorado and that grief would find us then and it would probably hit us harder having gained some momentum of its own as it followed us across the ocean relishing our delusion knowing that it would only make the reality of our loss that bit more difficult to deal with. We both knew this but on we went, emboldened by Kevin, friendly Americans neighbours, red bull, sympathetic tuts by people we once considered friends, concerned sideways glances, delusion, sturdy romance and the promise of anywhere else.